Q - Why don't bass
players ever catch a cold?
A - Even a virus
has some pride.
Q - Why do bands
have bass players?
A - To translate
for the drummer.
The drummer and
the bass player were having it out with fists during
soundcheck.
The guitarist strode down to them and
pushed them apart.
"Gentlemen please," he insisted, "Why do you argue so?" "That Bastard de-tuned one
of
my strings when I wasn't looking!", said the
bass player.
The guitarist
turned to the drummer and asked, "Is that true?"
"Yup," said the
drummer, unused to being asked to speak.
"Well," said the
guitarist to the somewhat miffed four-stringer, "Can't you
tune it up
again?"
To which the
bass-player replied, "The son-of-a-bitch won't tell me which
one it was!"
A guy walks into a
shop.
"You got one of
them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a
Gibson
StratoBlaster geetar with a
Fried Rose tremulo?"
"You're a drummer,
aren't you?"
"Yeah. How'd you
know?"
"This is a travel
agency."
Q: What does a
good bassplayer weigh?
A: 28 ounces, not
counting the urn.
Q: What happens when
you play "the blues" backwards?
A: Your wife comes
back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.
Q - How does a guitar
player show up for practice?
A - Drunk and
late......... as usual
Q - What do you throw
a drowning guitarist ?
A - His amplifier.
Q - What do you say to
a guitar player in a 3-piece suit ?
A - "Will the
defendant please rise ..."
Q - What do a guitar
solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A - You know it's
coming and there's nothing you can do about it.
Q - What are the two most frequent heavy
metal guitarist lies?
A - 1. I am not
too loud! 2. I have already turned down!
Q: What is the difference between a
drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A: You have to plug one of them in
before it sucks.
Q: What do Ginger Baker and 7-11
coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without cream
Q: How many drummers does it take
to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five: one to screw in the light
bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil
Peart would
have done it!
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